


Death Before Detriment

by ghoulatrocity



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Jealousy, Killing, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Soulmates, Yandere, Yandere!Gerard, male yandere, will add more as they apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-28 17:39:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulatrocity/pseuds/ghoulatrocity
Summary: His mind was broken before he saw him. Then he had to do anything to keep him.





	1. A Stitch For The Broken

Gerard didn’t remember when the numbness in him started affecting his daily routine. As a young child living with his very energetic little brother, he had always found solace in those things that his brother did. His family fulfilled him, and he hadn’t noticed that anything was awry. However, there had always been this aching psychological pain in the very back of his mind, one that never seemed to go away. He never complained to his mother, because he himself assumed that this sort of thing was normal, and he was just not used to it yet. When Gerard started to grow into a teen, he had noticed the pain getting stronger, gnawing at his thoughts.

The family had lived in a New Jersey suburb, where Gerard was frequently found conversing with children his age, and engaging in normal childhood activities. If anyone was to say, put them in a reality show, no one would suspect a thing from Gerard. He always had the portrait of an innocent child who hadn’t known any better, but as time went on, it distorted.

Gerard started pursuing other activities at around age ten, such as focusing more on drawing and listening to his favorite music. He always craved familial attention, but now he was growing distant and close at the same time. One moment he’d start to be a bit brash, another he would turn into a sweet angel who agreed with anything he had to to. As he turned into a teen, these outbursts grew more violent, which concerned his mother and father. 

Once, at age 12, he vividly remembered Mikey getting a small dinosaur toy, which the younger brother loved very much and spent more time with it than his actual family members. His attention to the toy grew so great that Gerard had suddenly snapped and ripped off the dinosaur’s head, screaming. And he remembered… enjoying the violence. He remembered during that short few seconds the pain in his brain had lessened and it went off like a pleasure center in his inner core, soothing his emotions at the end of the ordeal.

After this incident, Gerard’s parents decided it was best for him to see a doctor, to see what was wrong with him. The doctor was unable to diagnose him properly, but had hinted to it being a mental disorder, possibly bipolar or something of that nature. While his parents fretted, Gerard was told by his grandmother Elena that this can be perceived as normal, as she was also the same way, and so was her mother. She informed him about everything, and how this usually happened to females but it also can happen to males. At the time, Gerard had still been confused on what to make of this news, but his grandmother simply smiled. She told him that he was just overprotective of his loved ones.

On that day he spoke with his grandmother, she told him that the mental pain that he felt was just a void that would someday be fulfilled and complete once he met the right person. When that happened, he must protect that person at all costs. Gerard at this time was still naive and a bit childish, but what his grandmother told him stuck with him, and from that day forth he was set on his uncanny path.

As he moved into his teen years, Gerard became more contentious, often lashing out at others when he didn’t mean to. The void grew stronger, eating into his brain and focusing abilities. His grades started to slip in school, his friends started to draw back and stop speaking to him, and teachers started to dislike him. Gerard also wore a unique style from others, one with signature Misfits and Black Flag shirts, already making him a target for bullying. He grew to be an outcast, and his only consolation was that of his comics.

Gerard may have been avoided at school, but his brother Mikey was always there for him when the tragedy struck. Mikey was the closest person to him in his childhood, even though he had almost no effect on Gerard’s mental void. When Gerard was around 17, he was at an all time low. His parents were still in dismay due to Gerard’s illness, nobody spoke a word to him in school, and he was essentially hanging by a thread. He became a very static person, with very little emotion, and simply stayed in his basement room whenever he was not required to go to school. When he was 19, he forced himself out of his house, leaving with as much as he could carry and not looking back.

Gerard, who was now 24, felt the wind bluster through his black hair as he approached the local coffee shop. He had made a good life for himself in the past few years, as he lived in a semi-decent apartment and had a adequately paying job. Other than that, his life had no meaning. He still had no friends aside from Mikey, and his void was now a numbness in the back of his brain. At this point in his life, he hardly felt emotion and it was almost monotone. The dull life he lived seemed like it wasn’t going to offer an award.

As he opened the doors to the coffee shop, he felt a blast of warm air that accompanied the smell of brewing coffee. This was the comfort Gerard sought in his Saturday morning. The coffee shop was sleek and modern, with warm browns and beige accents. Gerard always came here, bringing his sketchbook and pencils and just spending his morning there. He approached the counter, seeing a familiar face and smiling.

“Hey, James. Can you please get me a black coffee, like usual?” Gerard asked.

“Sure, Gerard. That’ll be one dollar.” Gerard handed James the money for the coffee, and while the barista turned to fill the cup Gerard heard a voice that sounded so smoo- scratch that- angelic. 

“Hey James, where did you put the extra cream? I can’t find it anywhere.” the angel asked.

“Oh, sorry.” James facepalmed as he handed Gerard his coffee. “It’s in the fridge in the back room, geez you know I’m bad at employee training.” Gerard looked up to see who James was talking to, and his heart nearly stopped.

He appeared to be in his early twenties, and had a haircut in which his sides were red but there was a long piece of black hair trailing down the middle and curved around his face. He had the body of an absolute god, and his face was brilliantly sculpted. He had a lip ring and a nose piercing in, both silver and the lip piercing moved slightly as he bit his lip. He was _beautiful_. Gerard felt his heart beat like it never had beat before. It was quick and he could hear it loud in his ears. He felt… lifted. Every weight and regret is his life suddenly seemed to go away. He felt like he could see colors that he couldn’t see beforehand, the sort of grey film that glossed over his vision was lifted. He could feel. He felt wonderful. Gerard could feel himself getting scarlet, and he smirked before quickly looking down.

“Who’s that??” Gerard asked quietly as the handsome barista walked into the back room.

“Oh, that guy?” James asked, quickly taking another order and talking to Gerard as he prepared a drink. “That’s Frank. He just started working here a few days ago. He was kind of hired on a whim so he still has a lot to learn.” he chuckled.

Gerard nodded, still in his mind palace, thinking about him. Frank. What a wonderful name. He was staring at the wall or something, when he suddenly shook his head and zoomed back to reality. “Oh, okay. Thanks, James.” and he walked off, sitting down at a table close to the counter. Normally, he sat in the very corner, not wanting to be bothered by anybody. But now he had an interesting subject matter for his art.

Soon, Frank came back out with a bottle of cream to put in the fridge behind the counter. Gerard retrieved his pencils and began sketching him discreetly. He only glanced up at Frank every once in a while, making sure he wasn’t looking before he took a long look. Gerard had never seen anyone like this before. He was someone that made Gerard actually feel something. As he was sketching, he realized something. The pain in his head was lessening! This time it was a lot more, and he was almost back to when he was young and could hardly feel it at all. He remembered Elena’s words from when he was twelve and realized something.

Frank must be the one.

Was it okay for him to feel this even though he’d just met Frank and never had spoken to him ever? How would he go about this? Should he ask him out, could he talk to him? What if he was too shy? Would it be weird?

Gerard realized that he was nearly suffocating his pencil in his grip and suddenly let go. His hand cramped a bit, but then he looked up and his eyes just had to instantly meet Frank’s. He sat there for a second, watching the hazel with a tint of green almost as if it was swirling in frosting. He realized what he was doing and quickly looked down, face reddening again and he sketched more. He swore he heard a soft chuckle, but he couldn’t hear much with his heart pounding in his ears.

He then started to color the sketch with his colored pencils, and it all started coming together. He was smiling, he felt something, he was eminently joyful as he drew, and he felt for once in his life that nothing could ever bother him again. Gerard could hear the coffee shop start to fill more, but he had not a care in the world. His mind was focused on one spot, what his life might possible be with Frank. The joy was overwhelming.

“Ha ha..” Gerard heard a chuckle. “That’s a sweet drawing of me if I do say so myself.”

Gerard froze. It was that sweet, sweet angelic voice. He looked up, with a tinge of scarlet, and saw Frank standing at the edge of his table.

“Oh, uhm…” Gerard stuttered. “I-I’m really sorry.. I was just drawing and…”

Frank laughed, and it was so sweet and it made Gerard’s embarrassed frown turn into a slight smile. “Oh don’t worry about it dude, it’s quite alright. I know you artists and your subject matter.”

Gerard chuckled a bit himself. “Yeah, uh..” Good grief what was he going to say to him? ‘I just have a mental problem and when I saw you you made it go away so I think your my soulmate’ wasn’t going to cut it. “I just find it relaxing to draw cute people”. Shit. Goddamnit Gerard you fucked up again. He bristled crimson and he looked away. “I mean.. I just like your style.”

He could practically feel Frank smile as he spoke again. “I find it pretty relaxing that hot guys like to draw me.” He bent over and rested his elbows on the table fiddling with his nails. ‘Holy shit holy shit holy shit he actually replied’ was the first thing in Gerard’s thoughts as he turned to look at Frank. “Well, I gotta go clean off some tables.” Frank sighed. “Maybe I’ll see you here again and we can hang out?”

“Y-yeah.” Gerard mumbled. “Sounds good.” Frank smiled and he picked himself up and walked to a few tables in the back. God he actually spoke to him. Gerard finished his coffee and started to pack up his sketchbook, seeing as it was 10:00 already and he had to go clean himself up to meet Mikey for lunch. He hadn’t seen Mikey since Christmas last year, so if he missed this lunch he was surely going to get reprimanded. As he slung his bag over his shoulder and started to head out the door, he took one last look at Frank before leaving.

\----------------------------

“So let me get this straight.” Mikey said, handing his menu to the waiter at the Olive Garden. “You saw this guy and suddenly your brain pain was gone?”

“You betcha.” Gerard took a sip of his water, glancing up at the interior decorating. “It was just… a huge weight off my shoulders, and I felt...whole again.”

“Like you were ever whole in the first place..” Mikey muttered under his breath, even though Gerard could hear him perfectly clear. He gave his brother a well earned hit on the arm. “Okay, okay.” he said, wincing. “I’ll stop being an ass.”  
“Just because my analogies are a bit off doesn’t mean you should criticize everything I say.” Gerard replied back snarkily. He couldn’t help but smile a bit at his brother though. God, this never happened before. Usually he’d probably yell at his brother and up and leave, but this time, he was calmer. “He just.. He completes me.”

“You do seem joyful today.” Mikey twiddled his thumbs. “Are you planning to ask him out next time you see him?”

Gerard nearly spit out his water. “Are-are you serious? I can’t do that…What if I screw up?”

“You’re not going to, Gerard. Trust me. If this guy is who you say he is you will have absolutely no problem asking him out.” Mikey replied, smiling at Gerard. Gerard turned his head to look out the window, starting to daydream about Frank.

“I’ll ask him when I’m ready.” Gerard simply replied. The two of them fell into a deep silence as Gerard started out the window, watching the cars go by and thinking about Frank. He was beautiful, and he imagined Frank cuddling him on the couch in his apartment with the lights low and warm. Gerard started to blush again and rested his head on his hand, smiling. He was only shaken out of his trance when his and Mikey’s food arrived, and even then he picked at his pasta.

“You cool, Gerard?” Mikey asked, showing a concerned look at Gerard.

“Oh, yes, I’m fine, sorry.” Gerard said. “I guess I’m just occupied in thought.”

“Don’t you pull this shit with me again.” Mikey hissed slightly. “Please don’t tell me your pain is coming back.”

“Oh, no, of course not. I met my _soulmate_ , Mikes.” Gerard said. “My mind just might be occupied a bit.”

“You know,” Mikey said, twirling his spaghetti with his fork. “I’m so glad to see you happy. Mom and Dad will be so happy! We can.. We can be a family again.”

“Grandma won’t like me telling them that this is the cause of my happiness. You know what she said, She didn’t tell mom about it because she didn’t have it. She doesn’t want them finding out.”

Mikey stopped messing with his fork and sighed, almost as if something was hanging on the edge of his tongue. “Gerard, she can’t be the boss of you anymore.”

Gerard sighed, clutching his shirt. “Yeah, I know Mikey. We still can’t disrespect her wishes though.” Mikey nodded in agreement, and kept eating. They discussed on how Gerard needed to visit his mom and dad, as they genuinely missed him and would receive the news well that he was better.  
When lunch was done and over with, Gerard hugged his brother. “Thanks for understanding me, I know it wasn’t easy having to deal with my brain before this.”

“Hey, no problem big bro. Call me whenever you ask Frank out.” Mikey waved at Gerard, walking the opposite direction of Gerard where his car was parked. The wind was beginning to pick up for the second time today, and the dove grey clouds above Gerard started fitting together like puzzle pieces in the afternoon sky. He began to head towards his apartment, which was about 12 blocks away and he had no way in hell of guessing when the rain would fall, probably before he got home. He pulled out his phone, seeing the time was 1:35, and was startled a bit when he saw a text from his mother. Opening it, he read:

_Mikey told us! You’re better! I’m so glad! You should visit home sometime. Xoxo Mom_

Gerard huffed and rolled his eyes. He prayed that Mikey had just told them that he was better and left the part about the soulmate out. He was not only worried that he would upset the wishes of his grandmother, but they would think he was crazy, especially for claiming a soulmate within minutes of meeting him. Gerard now walked among the part where apartment buildings turned from a scattered arrangement to around where a few were stuck together. The clouds became denser, and he could no longer see his shadow. Still having about three-fourths of the way to go, he sighed, tucking his hands in his pockets and continuing on his way.

At this point was when he decided to call Mikey. He didn’t care that he was driving, or literally anything for that matter. He just wanted to get back at his brother.

“Gerard, what did you forget now?” Mikey answered the phone, sighing. Gerard could hear a turn signal faintly in the background.

“Mom sent me a text.”

“Oh.”

“What the hell, Mikey! I told you not to tell them!”

Gerard could practically hear the desperation in Mikey’s voice as he spoke. “Listen, I didn’t tell them about your whole weirdo ‘I felt better when I saw this dude in a coffee shop’ thing. I just told them that your head seemed to finally be clearing.”

Gerard exhaled relief and groaned. “Thank you so much, Mikey. I hate my parents to think I’m some lovesick weirdo.”

“You’re welcome. Now, get home before you have a chance to get soaked.”

He hung up, sighed and stuffing his phone in his coat pocket. At this point, he was almost home. Just two blocks left. He breathed out and took a slight glance to his left, where he saw a woman sitting on a park bench talking on her cell phone.

“I just… I really like him but don’t know what to say..” The girl spoke. She had black hair that cut off at her shoulders, and wore grey jeans with a black t-shirt. “Yes, I know. He’s hardly ever off work when my own schedule is convenient!....Yes, I’ve known him for years but does that matter?”

Gerard turned away and rolled his eyes. He guess he could understand her predicament…well except for the ‘known him for years’ part. Would it be okay for him to ask Frank on a date after only meeting him once? That would be weird, wouldn’t it? Maybe they should stay friends for a while and see how it goes… He stopped his thinking debacle, as he was right in front of his apartment building. Huh. He actually made it before the rain fell. He suddenly felt something hit his face slightly and then it began to downpour.

Nice.

As he headed into the building he was greeted by warm, dry air. He wiped his feet and shook his hair a little bit, trying to fling any water sticking on it off. Gerard dragged himself up to the sixth floor of the ten-story apartment building. He walked down the carpeted hallway, leaving slightly wet footprints. He finally arrived at his door, and he fumbled for his keys. The rain poured torrentially outside, and left a thundering sound on the building. Unlocking it, the door pushed open to the inside and he sighed with relief at the satisfaction that he was home. 

His apartment wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. He had a small kitchen that had an island and cabinets on one side, with a fridge, microwave, and oven. One couch sat in front of a small tv, and the bedroom was separate from the rest of the apartment. He had a desk in the living room where he made his comics, and he had a small round table that could fit four people. Gerard took his bag off his shoulder and flung it next to the couch, and then flopped on it himself.

Frank entered his mind again, and Gerard smiled to himself. He couldn’t believe he found who he had been wishing for for over a decade. He reached for his bag and unzipped it, pulling out the sketchbook. Gerard flipped the book open to see his sketch of Frank and he blushed, hugging it to his chest slightly. Mikey’s advice rang out in his head, and he realized he had to ask Frank out before it was too late. He was still indecisive on how exactly he should do it and he swore he couldn’t spend all night thinking about it. Or, could he?

Gerard lie on the couch, hugging his rendition of Frank on paper and smiled, knowing that his life was going to change for the better.


	2. Desirable Qualities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this chapter longer but honestly I got really busy and lazy so I wanted to give you guys something to tie yourselves over with so here you go.

It was painstaking to wait to see Frank until the next Saturday. The coffee shop was closed on Sunday and Gerard worked all week, and Gerard was almost positive Frank only worked a morning shift. Every time he went to sleep he couldn’t help but think of Frank. His waking moments that did not involve work or chores came with an overwhelming desire to see Frank. And so, when Saturday finally came, Gerard was full of relief.

The coffee shop had that same smell. The same, welcoming, comforting smell that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Gerard headed over to the counter, waiting for a barista to come take his order. As he waited, he looked around for Frank, but apparently to no avail. He turned back to the counter, thumping his foot and checking his phone when he was suddenly greeted by a warm smile.

“Hey there, you’re back!” Frank’s voice resonated and Gerard could feel his heart pick up pace almost immediately. “I was wondering if you would come back!”

“Oh, of course I’d be back. I’m here every Saturday. It’s the only day I’m off work and the shop is open.”

“Where do you work?” Frank asked, writing down something on a notepad and heading towards the coffee machines to check something.

“Just at a distribution center. Not too fancy, I did want to go to college but...things got in the way.” Gerard replied.

“Ah, I see what you mean. I have this job because I’m trying to pay both the essentials and for my tattoo artist apprenticeship.” he smiled. “Newsflash, I don’t get much left afterwards. Anyways, what’ll you have?”

“Oh, uhm, just a black coffee please.”

“On it.” Frank said, slightly biting his lip which made his piercing shift. Gerard could practically hear himself shiver at the sight, and Frank looked at him strange. “Hey, you okay?”

“Oh.. uh… y-yeah it was just kind of brisk outside and the temperature change is strange.” Gerard said, pretending to rub his shoulders for warmth.

“Tis the season!”

“It’s not even Thanksgiving yet..” Gerard chuckled, and Frank joined him in his laughter.

“I get way too festive, my apologies.” Frank asked. “Oh goodness I never even asked your name, I’m a dumbass.”

“Oh, no you’re fine. I’m Gerard, nice to meet you… and you are?” he pretended to not know what Frank’s name was, because he was already incredibly nervous and did not want to seem like a creep.

“Frank.” He said, and handed Gerard his coffee. “We totally need to hang out soon. You seem like a cool dude, Gerard.”

Gerard blushed. “Yeah...we do.” He walked away, but not before sliding out his phone. He saw Frank was now tending to one of the coffee machines. Gerard looked around, seeing the coffee shop was pretty empty except for a guy on his laptop in the corner. Double checking to make sure neither Frank nor the guy were looking, he shuttered a few pictures of Frank, all while blushing. He then immediately slid the phone back in his pocket, almost as if it was never out.

At the table, Gerard sipped his coffee as he worked on another artwork. This time he was sketching a sad person but then drew a happy ghost around him. He stole glances up at Frank as he sketched, watching him work with a burning passion. Taking his hand, he grabbed his phone and discreetly texted Mikey a picture of Frank with the words ‘This is him, what did I tell you?’. No longer than two minutes later, the device dinged and Gerard almost busted out laughing. ‘You go big bro! He IS great. Go get some!!!!’

Gerard took a break from sketching just to go through his phone and look through the five photos he took of Frank. He tapped one of them, which he thought was absolutely gorgeous, and set it as his wallpaper. It was so comforting to him, knowing that all he could do was open his phone and be joyous. Footsteps could be heard very clearly, and Gerard immediately locked his phone, anticipating Frank, and there he was.

“What’s today’s sketch?” Frank questioned, peering at Gerard’s rough mess of pencil on the paper. “Oh, dude that’s totally sick! I love it!”

“Y-you do?” Gerard replied.

“Yeah, ghosts are totally my thing. Also, you draw so well, people should hire you!”

“Oh, u-uh thanks.” Gerard smiled. Right now would be the perfect time to maybe ask Frank to dinner or a movie or whatever but Gerard was too shy to do anything. “S-so.. um…”

“You want to go do something tomorrow afternoon?” Frank suddenly interjected. Gerard turned red and he swore he saw a bit on Frank’s face as well, but he was probably imagining things. They both sat in silence for a few seconds before Gerard spoke.

“Uh, yeah sure..” Gerard said. “I think I’m free.”

Frank broke out a smile, which was absolutely perfect of course. “That's great!!! I'll give you my number so we can figure it out.”

Gerard froze, his stomach tumbling and he even felt a bit nauseous. Frank was going to give him his number? This couldn't be happening, his heart was fluttering and he was growing more ecstatic by the second. “Yeah, you can write it down in my sketchbook.”

Frank inscribed his number above the ghost on his paper and ended it with a small heart. Gerard blushed, thanking him. Frank gave him a quick smirk before returning to his job. 

Gerard traced his eyes over the numbers scrawled on his paper and felt his heart quicken. He quickly shut his notebook trying to make sure that no one else could see it. No one else could know about it. He picked up his bag, glaring outside and digging seeing that it was raining, yet again. What was it with Saturday and the rain? He hoped that it would let up soon, because there was no way he was going to get soaked. He stood at the door, watching the rain droplets stick on the door and slowly run downwards like little rivers. Gerard kept checking his phone to pass the time, but then found that an hour had passed and the rain was not letting up. 

“Gerard, do you have a car?” A concerned Frank resonated from behind him. 

“No…” he said quietly.

“I get off of work in about fifteen minutes, can I offer you a ride?” Frank’s keys conveniently jangled in his pocket. 

“Oh..uh sure….” Gerard replied, withdrawing from the window and coming close to the counter, where Frank had been sweeping the floor. 

“Quite a gloomy day…” Frank said. Gerard noticed that the laptop guy had left the coffee shop and no one else was in here but Frank, himself, and probably James. 

“Does it always get this dead in here around eleven?” Gerard asked, glancing through the empty shop. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Frank said. “A lot more people come in after lunch.” His voice echoed against the opposing walls. “It also doesn't help that it's raining outside and most of our customers walk here during the summer and fall.”

Gerard nodded, waiting for Frank to finish his shift. It seemed like edges until Frank retreated behind the counter and put up the broom. “I'm just gonna clock out and then we’ll get going, okay? You can come on back here, no one cares.”

He went behind the counter along with Frank. It was slightly brisk, probably because of all the coolers. His black boots clicked along the sienna tiles in the kitchen, until he finally arrived at the back door where behind lie a parking lot that employees used. 

Frank’s car was a black 2005 Honda Accord. He generously opened the door for Gerard, and went to his own side of the car. His car smelled like mix of smoke and pine.

“Your car smells like a fucking forest.” Gerard said. “On fire.” he added. 

“That's how I like it.” he chuckled, and so did Gerard at his own statement. Frank silently asked permission to reach into the glove box and his hand shuffled around a little bit before pulling out a pack of Marlboros. “Want a smoke?”

Gerard nodded, taking the offered cigarette from Frank. The barista lit his own and then voluntarily lit Gerard’s. “Thanks.” Gerard replied, putting the cigarette up to his mouth. Frank started the car promptly, and started to pull out of the parking lot. Gerard didn't think the smell in Frank's car was bad, oh no it was actually very soothing and Gerard felt just at home in his soulmate’s car. 

Frank turned on the radio to a rock station before he got on the road. “So, Gerard, where do you live?”

“Oh, at Star City Apartments… Boulder Road…”

“Ah okay, I know what you're talking about.” Frank replied, taking the turn that they needed. Frank blasted the best on the car. “Are you warm enough?” he hummed, glancing at Gerard. 

“Yeah, sure…” Gerard murmured, gazing out the window. The rain was hardly noticeable from the moving car. The air held a grey, dull color while the street lamps dotted the color with yellow. 

“Hey, Gerard, are you okay?” Frank asked from the driver's seat. 

“Oh, yeah of course!” Gerard said, retreating from the window. “I’m just tired, that's all. Had a long work week.”

“Ah.” Frank acknowledged. “I'm sorry.”

“No no no… it's not your fault I…”

“Gerard, I wasn't saying it was my fault.” Frank replied. 

“Oh, sorry.” Gerard sighed. “I'm just used to people apologizing to me a lot.”

“Really? Why?” 

Gerard turned back to the window. He didn't know if he should let Frank know of his slightly violent tendencies, or his arguable being. At least, they might be gone now, considering he completed him. 

“I just.. Used to be kind of an asshole…” Gerard exhaled. “I kind of yelled at people a lot, and they always thought it was their fault.”

“Oh.” Frank said. The convenient stopping at a traffic light unintentionally made the situation awkward.

“I mean, I'm better now.” He replied. “I just was a weird kid.”

Frank chuckled, relieving Gerard in the highest form. “It's okay, I was too.” The car stopped again, but this time Gerard noticed Frank had parallel parked.

“We’re here.” Frank said, stubbing his cigarette on the car’s ashtray. Gerard saw his apartment looming like the Gotham Asylum in the lack of light. 

“Oh, okay.” he replied, grabbing his bag from the floor and opening the car door. “Thank you so much for driving me.”

“Hey, no problem. I wasn't going to make you walk in the rain.” Frank replied, smiling at Gerard. 

“Uhm… I’ll text you tonight?” Gerard asked. 

“Sure.” Frank said. “Bye, Gerard.” The eldest got out of the car, shutting the door. He slung his bag on his back and ran under the cover of a ledge on the building as Frank drove away. 

He couldn't believe that Frank, the actual Frank Iero-don't ask him how he knew his last name- drove him home. The youngest's possessions were already showing their welcoming effects on Gerard, with his jacket smelling like Frank’s glove box cigarette smoke and his pine air freshener. As he trudged into the building, the air around him dulled, and all he could smell was the burning forest. 

The elevator was the only thing that distracted him from this, as a woman who appeared in her mid forties was applying her Dillard's perfume which almost smoked Gerard out and destroyed the love in his jacket. However as he left the rank lift the jacket returned to its normal scent. The hallway walk seemed to be blissfully long, getting high with thoughts of Frank. 

Gerard’s apartment seemed stagnant, almost suffocating before. When he entered, he did not notice this infringing air, and he took off his jacket. He slyly hugged it, reminiscing over the car ride until he almost tripped on the edge of his kitchen island. Gerard shook himself out of his stupor and stood silent for a quick second, before deciding to prepare some lunch. 

'Lunch' consisted of a meager ham and cheese sandwich with some potato chips he had picked up on his way home from work Thursday. He sat on his brown couch with his food, sighing as he turned on the television. He decided to not hang up his jacket but instead keep it with him during the day before the burning forest was extinguished. The mindless television only occupied about an hour of his time before he decided to clean up. 

The scent was still occupying his mind. He dreamed of Frank holding him close, breath warming his neck, and the flames growing stronger. A kiss pressed to his neck, a push to the bed, a groan from his lover as the friction between them increased. The warmth satisfying the coldness previously stable in his body, his core warming, gasping as Frank began to lower himself. 

He froze as the pulse in his lower abdomen manifested itself into a hardness, and Gerard groaned. He had an erection. God dammit. At least he wasn't in public, at least he could get himself off without worrying about someone hearing, maybe his neighbor Pete, but he wouldn't give a flying fuck. It's ‘guy stuff’, and unbroken privacy was shared between the two neighbors. 

Gerard half-heartedly limped towards his bedroom, the jacket still clutched in the intertwine of his fingers, and he flopped himself on his bed. The cotton cradled him as he bucked up his hips, needing contact. He would have much preferred Frank's warm mouth, or his hand perhaps. But his own would have to make do at the moment. His right hand snaked down to the border of his jeans, and he began to fumble with the button clasp, grunting and needing more, more. The pressure released, and he shoved his hand underneath his boxers, forcibly unzipping the jeans. 

“Oh, Frank.” He mustered, bucking his hips up again as he made contact with his hard-on. Gerard pulled his hand up again and back down, stroking gently. His core warmed, causing him to make short gasps. “Fuck, Frank…” he moaned, gripping himself at the base, and moving up. He gasped more, feeling himself, thinking of Frank, thinking of him lying naked in bed with him, thinking of his warm mouth on his dick. 

“Ah!! A-Ah!!!” he cried, imagining the younger man wrapped around him, licking and sucking. “Frank, Frank that feels so good.” His strokes were getting faster and faster, and his hand was almost numb at the constant movement. The warmth in his abdomen started to knot, and he could feel himself getting closer. 

Gerard was grunting and moaning, feeling himself get closer and closer. He imagined Frank yet again, and he imagined the man looking up at him through his gorgeous eyelashes, his lip ring moving against his veiny shaft and making him shiver. 

“Frank, I-” until he exploded, crying out in a wail so loud he was afraid that the neighbor next to Pete could hear him. He was breathing heavily, coming down from his high and feeling himself getting soft again.

It took him a few minutes before he realized that his pants and shirt were both covered in cum and he was sticky and gross an he’d need a shower. The jacket was on his left side and he realized he had been gripping it during the whole ordeal. The burning forest was now masked with an overall gamey smell in the room. He pulled himself up out of his bed, hoping that he hadn't stained the sheets, and thankfully he hadn't. 

He couldn't even begin to comprehend the act he had just did. He had masturbated for the first time. Blushing, he began to retreat to the bathroom. Only if Frank had been with him for the real thing. Now he decided he had to clear his thoughts over a nice, cold shower. 

Afterwards, he lay on his bed, in his Batman pajamas. He picked up his cell phone with a little hesitation at the sharp blue light. Groaning, he realized Frank’s number was in his bag out in the kitchen. Sighing, he got up and slid into his slippers, trying to find his way to the kitchen like a bat with broken vocal cords. He stumbled into the hazy light of the kitchen, looking at the clock and seeing that it was around 3:30. Once he retrieved Frank’s number, he added it to his phone. 

_Hey, It's Gerard. I was thinking we could go see a movie tomorrow._

He anxiously waited his lover’s response, wringing his hands. His phone dinged in a few minutes, and he nearly died jumping on the bed to see what it said. 

_I was thinking maybe I could come over to your apartment instead ;)_

Gerard let off a wild screech that imitated every bird in existence and fell off the bed, in a daze. He knew he probably wasn't being suggestive, but he could help but be shocked at the remark. 

_Yeah, sure. Can you come at 12 tomorrow?_

Gerard’s heart was practically in his stomach at this point, and he was sure he was going to be obliterated if he got any more nervous. 

_Sure. Cya :)_

Gerard flopped back onto his bed, which was still warm from his activity earlier. He smiled up at his ceiling, but he hesitated in his thinking as he was afraid he would be sporting another erection. He could hear the rain still pouring on his window in a steady, heavy pace. Rolling over, he peered out the glass and sighed, slowly beginning to fall away, His last thoughts were of Frank walking with him in the rain before the darkness enveloped him.


End file.
